"The goal of The Recovery Process is to assist a client to reconnect with who they are so they can identify how they fill time defending who they pretend to be. "
The Recovery Process
Welcome to “The Recovery Process.” My name is Dr. Gregory Tucker. I am a Clinical Psychologist who has been in private practice continuously for over 35 years. In the course of my work, I slowly discovered what the true origin of suffering is all about. No one makes an appointment unless their life includes some form of suffering. The more you pay attention to suffering, the more you see that suffering is universal. Our basic assumption is that we suffer from traumatic circumstances in life that damaged us, perhaps permanently. Life, for a huge segment of the population is about coping with feeling damaged. The symptoms that go with feeling damaged include, fear, anger and depression, as well as variations of these symptoms. We treat symptoms as if they confirm that we are damaged. We treat medication as proof we are damaged. Time is the venue in which we play the part of ‘damaged people.’
Psychotherapy, through no fault of its own, accepts the fact we suffer from events that damaged us. What is damaged, apparently, is our sense of self worth. We would have been okay, but this or that event damaged the self, and now we get to fill time with a ‘damaged self.’ Psychotherapy accepts the assumption that the self we have is damaged, and goes about the business of trying to repair the damaged self. Some clients respond favorably to the idea a self can be repaired, but many clients, on the contrary, depend on the idea the self they have is damaged and reject any intervention that interferes with the assumption the self they have is damaged.
Initially, with only a small slice of the big picture, this seems very paradoxical: common sense suggests that everyone wants to repair the self in order to remediate their sense of being ‘damaged people.’ The basic assumption is that everyone aspires to be here with less fear, sadness and anger, but the facts don’t bare this out. The truth is, most of us resist intervention because our investment in ‘the damaged self’ gives us someone to be. What matters most in life is assembling the identity we occupy to give us definition as a specific someone. In this light, it is no accident that most of us engage in the victim parody to give us a part to play in life. We may hate the suffering that goes with the part we play, but what we hate even more is the possibility that not even the part we play will prove we are who we portray. This underlying fear provides the incentive to defend the part we play to ignore the possibility the part we play isn’t who we are.
As time went on, truth slowly came into focus. There is something called “the truth,” and we reject it as false because it can’t support our definition of reality. Picture that right now is the truth, and that it displays exactly where everyone is with what right now is, somewhere between awake and deep in trance, and everything between these two extremes. Everyone displays where they are with the truth, somewhere between total acceptance and total rejection of what it is. Once you reconnect with what the truth is, everyone is transparent: you know immediately where everyone is with what the truth is. You know who is awake right now, and who is busy filling time trying to prove truth is false. As a rule, you can’t witness where everyone is with the truth until you reconnect with where you are with the truth. Once you reconnect with the truth, you get to witness how the vast majority of us fill time relying on the part we play to dismiss the truth of who we are.
Truth discloses that we operate on two levels; there is who we are, which we dismiss as false in order to defend who we pretend to be. The problem is, we can’t cancel who we are. Who we are exits as a constant. Everyone is who they are, displaying the degree to which they superimpose who they pretend to be on top of who they are. This lamination can’t cancel who we are, it can only obscure who we are. No one can defect from who they are no matter how much energy they invest in who they pretend to be.
This brings us to the goal of “The Recovery Process,” which we can abbreviate with the acronym, TRP. The goal of TRP is to assist a client to reconnect with who they are so they can identify how they fill time defending who they pretend to be. Since no one can defect from who they are, they are always who they are, displaying their level of devotion to the fiction they are who they pretend to be. Since no one can be who they pretend to be, TRP identifies who we are, and can only be, so you can identify how you fill time defending who you pretend to be. In this process, this is called ‘waking up.’
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